Where is Illiterate: Space Update
It's approaching the 24 hour mark before Illiterate's grand unveiling: Where The Wild Things Art. As promised, we've been working away the days like a pack of meth addicted chimps getting the place ready for the HQ's big debut tomorrow — after a series of consecutive gallery "sleepovers" I think our crew supervisor, Sander Lindeke, may actually prefer a plywood box to a real bed. In the last two weeks, we called in the reinforcements for the final stretch and as of today, the sign is up, the place is painted and the walls are flat. just right to house some incredible art! Sander Lindeke and Illiterate artist in residence, Rachel Paton, taking a minute to contemplate all the ...Read more
filed under: other
tags: 82 S. Broadway Illiterate HQ Rachel Paton Sander Lindeke Mark Sink Steve Arnold Broox Pulford Rise Tren
Caption Contest 7: Say Goodbye to Vinny
Dear Pieces of Shit, In the last six weeks of running this Caption Contest I've learned some things. Things that would lead a less compassionate man to acts of unspeakable violence against all of you uninspired artists. Thankfully for you, my back gave out the last time I used a pipe iron to express my internal creative angst, and the doctor told me that one more whack could be my last. Now I know none of you have health insurance, but I'm not trying to end up in a box just because you assholes couldn't think outside of yours. So, I've decided instead to paint myself out of this surrealist bullshit you call a community and get back to what Vinny does best: not giving a shit ab...Read more
Where is Illiterate?
Sorry for the lack of posts over the last few days, but there is an excuse, and a pretty exciting one at that... Illiterate has a new home! After five years of working out of various coffee shops, and living rooms Illiterate has a physical address all its own. The place is an 1800 sq ft two story building that will be used as the Illiterate HQ, with artist studios and our very own art gallery. The building was what you might call a 'fixer upper', and for the last month, the Illiterate staff, along with a handful of generous volunteers and family members, have been hard at work renovating to get ready for our big November grand opening. Stay tuned for more news on progress and about our...Read more
Caption Contest 6
Another week has come and gone, and it's business as usual in this world of WTF: Barack Obama won a nobel Peace Peace Prize for opening his eyes one morning, the Yankees moved on to the next round, and you nobodies continue to write captions despite a complete lack of skill or talent. You might call it perserverance. I call it denial. In fact, I had an epiphany this week about you dimwit artards. Completely disgusted after reading another week's worth of your shlock, I got up to grab a beer and start the process of obliterating the mind numbing experience from my memory. But when I walked into the question, I found my son, Little Anthony, slamming his tiny face against the wall over ...Read more
Caption Contest 5
Dostoyevsky got paid per word, so that shrewd rusky wrote sentences the length of paragraphs, paragraphs the length of books and books the length of your indefinite sexual "dryspell" (*it's not a drought if it never rained int the first place). You on the other hand, don't. So keep your captions fucking short, because not only do I not like reading them as it is, I don't want to have to sift through Crime and Punishment to realize it sucks. This week your challenge is Keep It Simple Stupid as you give this big baby some much needed diaper rash. -Vinny V...Read more
Mind the Bullocks: Bad British Humor on Bad British Art
Since Illiterate now has a foreign correspondent gushing over London's highly developed culture of art appreciation, I find myself immediately up in arms ready defend America's artistic honor against the tyranous crown with some good ol' fashioned mud slinging, rabble roussing and an all around xenophobic tirad wrapped in patriotic propaganda. But why point my lazy Yankee finger all the way across the Pacific when the Brits are perfectly capable of flipping themselves off all on their own. Thank the YBA alumnus Richard Patterson for bringing this bit of perfectly foppish toss to the mainland two weeks ago during his wryly comical Logan Lecture at the Denver Art ...Read more
Caption Contest 4
Today is the jewish day of repentance, and though I generally have about as much in common with those shmucks as a meatball sub has in common with a falafel wrap, still, in this particular instance I think you all could take a note from the guilt ridden rabbis. Today I want you all to think long and hard about how much you've trangressed against the English language and my valuable time. Now, Webster's might forgive you for all your butchered words, but you all owe me a fucking vacation from your ignorance. Please redeem yourselves with this photo. ...Read more
Oliver Bishop Young's Dumpsters Transformed
Table tennis skip for YCN from OliverBishopYoung on Vimeo. See more from Oliver Bishop Young Here...Read more
Caption Contest Week 3
One day Little Anthony asked me to tell him a story before he went to sleep. I told him to shut up already, but he kept crying like such a freaking baby about being scared of the dark, that I decided to curb that ninny bullshit right there and then, because no son of mine was going to grow up to be like one of you bedwetting, Little Nemo artists. So I told him a story, and since then he's never complained about the dark again. It occurs to me after yet another dismal Caption Contest this last week,that makes your posts so completely bland and unimaginative, maybe like Little Anthony, you're all scared not to suck. So, here's the story I told my son, maybe it will knock the wuss...Read more
Caption Contest 2 = Be Funnier, Win Shit
As I suspected you're all not only illiterate, but also retarded. Now, holster those self-righteous politically correct pointer fingers, I've got nothing against the mentally challenged. They are not retarded. They make me laugh. You pieces of shit on the other hand, with every conceivable capacity for conscious thought, couldn't make me laugh even once this week. Two comments even evoked facial responses, and they came from people who work for Illiterate for fuck's sake. Seriously, it depresses me, all of your pathetic attempts. If I didn't have Little Anthony to think about, I'd've put myself out of your misery already. Still it was the first week of the Illiterate ...Read more
